iprene

CJ: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though. 
Mahalik: What for?
CJ: Mice.
Mahalik: Mice? I thought she had rats?
CJ: No, rats are outside, mice are inside.
Mahalik: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
CJ: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
Mahalik: That's because it's a rat, fool!
CJ: Damn! You mighta just made a fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!

Mahalik: I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week and this mornin' he woke up dead!
CJ: How the hell do you wake up dead?
Mahalik: Cause' you're alive when you go to sleep.
CJ: So you're telling me you can go to bed dead, and wake up alive?
Mahalik: You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant.
CJ: No it would'nt, cause' you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.
Mahalik: But you are in the bed. That's how you wake up dead in the first place fool!
CJ: Damn! that's some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!

Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. The next morning, she turned up missing.
CJ: What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?
Mahalik: 'Cause nobody knows where you are, when they realize you ain't there!
CJ: So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time?
Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield! 
CJ: Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up.
Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie.
CJ: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that.
Mahalik: I'm gonna put that on MySpace.
CJ: You do that!