iprene

Kyle: Oh yeah thanks btw Bridget. Because of you, my girlfriend's gonna run off to Europe and fall in love with some fancy French guy named José. 
Kerry: José is Spanish.
Kyle: You've already met him?!

Kyle: You know, they say that God is a comedian playing to an audience that's just afraid to laugh.
[everyone looks at him amazed]
Jim: Who said that?
Kyle: It's me, Kyle.

[Jim fixes the tv]
Cate: Uh, dad, maybe you wanna unplug that first.
Jim: Oh, relax Cate. These little zaps make me feel alive.
Jim: Fireflies! [tries to catch the air]

Kerry: Yeah, because that’s your conundrum.
Kyle: Look Mrs. H, it’s been in my wallet for a year now and I haven’t used it I swear.

C.J.: [talking to Rory] Little Hefner, what's up with the PJ's?

Rory: There's this bully at school named Shiller - Killer Shiller -, he said that if I show up today, he'd punch my lights out.
Jim: Well, you've got nothing to worry about.
Rory: Why, you think he's all talk?
Jim: No, getting knocked down is just like going to sleep.

Bridget: My eyes are too close together!
Cate: That's ridiculous, you have beautiful eyes.
Bridget: No, they're abnormaly close together, I'll measure them. Where's the ruler?
C.J.: Try Rory's room.
Rory: I.. I don't have it, wh.. why would I have it?
Bridget: [finished measuring] An inch, look at this, they're an inch apart!
Kerry: Bridget I don't know why I'm trying to make you feel better, but an inch is probably average.
C.J.: Ooh, that should make you feel better too, Rory.

Jim: I'm going down to that modeling agency and give them a piece of my mind!
C.J: Are you sure, you've got so few pieces left?

Cate: What are you doing to the gingerbread house?
Jim: Oh, I just ate a part of the back wall.
Cate: It's carboard with frosting!
Jim: In my age, fiber's fiber.
Bridget: [coming down the stairs] Got the christmas stuff.
Rory: Where do you want the boxes mom?
Cate: Keep them away from grandpa.